


First

by Galfort



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Confession, First Love, First Times, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 13:53:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7895149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galfort/pseuds/Galfort
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Oliver realizes to be Connor's first real love</p>
            </blockquote>





	First

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my mother tongue(as you probably would notice)so I would be happy if you tell me what do you think is wrong in this OS, grammar, plot or both

Connor was younger than Oliver, even if it didn't seems quite so.  
Maybe it was because Connor had always had this confident look, like he knew more things than everyone.  
Maybe it was because Connor had fucked so many people, way way more than Oliver, but even that wasn't so obvious when they made love, cause, even if Ollie didn't have Connor experience he wasn't an innocent virgin and he was good at sex.  
Actually he was more than good: he was probably the best Connor has had in his entire life, and Connor had sex with so many men that it had always been too difficult for him to decide which one was the best. He had always thought Aiden was the best, but maybe just because he had been his first crush ever, and then, after that came his physics tutor but Oliver had always been a complete different story.  
And even if Connor seems so older than he truly was there were moments in which it was clear that he was still growing up.  
It wasn't for everyone to see it.  
Probably Conn let just Ollie see this side of him or maybe it was just because Oliver had come to understand him in way no one else has ever done, but he seemed to be the only one who can notice the small details that tell how fragile Connor still was.  
And, even if Connor had had so many experiences in his life it was clear, at least to his Ollie, that there were things he had never done.  
This was one of those things.  
Oliver could told it from the way Connor didn't look in his eyes while he was speaking, or the way he looked so solemn and scared at the same time.  
That was why Oliver wasn't able to say anything before the others came back.  
He had just realize that Connor had never said "I love you" to anyone.  
Probably Connor had never fallen in love before and he was his first true love.  
Oliver was struck by the thought.  
He hadn't had many boyfriends himself but he got a few and he remembered that he had loved all of them, even if it was nothing compared to what he feel for Connor.  
Connor who had never loved anyone before him.  
He should have known, of course, it was so obvious, he should have understood this from the way Connor had approached to their relationship.  
That's why Connor never knew how hurtful could have been for Ollie knowing that he had slept with someone else while they were seeing each other and why he had found so difficult to get that he didn't want to have sex until he was completely sure that they both would be safe.  
Connor didn't know how to love and Oliver had always known this but it had never occurred to him that it could be because he had never ever loves anyone.  
He was about to say something when Michaela walked in so he didn't say anything but kept his eyes on his lover.  
They were going to talk about this, oh if they were.  
He waited patiently that everyone had left their apartment so that the two of them could cuddle a bit on their sofa while watching same lame TV show.  
Conn didn't even want to eat anything when he offered to have dinner and decided to stay on the couch while Oliver was trying to cook something with what was left in the fridge.  
This made Oliver worrying even more.  
Connor had acted weird pretty much since Christmas, when they got back together, but he had thought it was because of the drug thing, the stress of finals and the big efforts he was making to win him back, but this was all over, so what was bothering Connor?  
He had tried to ask but every time his lover had reacted pretty badly and Oliver wanted to make things better, not worse, so he had reached the conclusion that Connor would tell him everything as soon as he would be ready.  
After all no one could keep secret from their beloved ones forever and now Oliver had had the proof that Connor really loved him.  
Watching Connor holding tight to his pillow, Oliver realized that he probably had to explain to Conn what loving someone implied, but how can you teach a 23 years old how to love?  
-Are you done staring at me? I know you are doing it-  
Connor's voice reached him and he couldn't help but leave everything and sit next on the sofa next to his boyfriend that immediately put his head on his shoulder.  
-Conn? –  
-Mmh?-  
-Are you..... Is everything all right?-  
-Yeah, why are you asking?-  
-I don't know, it’s just that you were weird this afternoon-  
-I wasn't weird, I was just trying to protect, you know? This job is fucking crazy and you don't have to pay its price-  
-But what if I like doing this?-  
-Ollie.... –  
-And by the way you don't have to protect me, I'm old enough, older than you, and I can take care of myself-  
-I'm not saying you can't take care of yourself it's just that.....I'm worried about you –  
-Why?-  
-You're not asking this-  
-Of course I am-  
-You don't.... -Connor sighed.  
-I'm worried about you and I want to take care of you because I love you. Is that so bad?-  
Oliver smiled.  
-It's not bad at all, it's just.... you never said that-  
-That what? That I want to take care of you? That I'm worried about you –  
-No, well that too, but I was not talking about that-  
-Than what?-  
-You.... You have never said that you loved me-  
-I thought you knew and I….-  
Connor suddenly blushed and looked away.  
-I....I...... I have never...... I never said "I love you". Never. To anyone. Never. You are..... You are the first one I've ever loved-  
So Oliver was right.  
He was his first love.  
-Conn? Look at me-  
-Ollie please don't make it worse-  
-Worse?-  
-I know I shouldn't freak out this way.... –  
-Freak out? –  
-Don't play dumb. You're smarter than this. You know perfectly that I freak out every time I say it-  
-Say what?-  
-You are really going to make me say it, are you?-  
Oliver smiled.  
-Of course you are. I freak out every time that I say that I love you because it's true and this means that if I lose you.......I can't be whole without you. Now I know it and every time I think of this I'm so fucking scared because I know that I going to lose you and I know that I can't bear a life without you –  
Connor's eyes were fixed on the pillow in his arms but Oliver can see a strange light in them.  
-What did you do to me Ollie?-  
His voice was a whisper now and Oliver was truly starting to be worried.  
-Conn? Conn, don't lie to me. What's going on? And don't tell me nothing because I’m not buying it-  
His boyfriend didn't say anything but kept looking down.  
-Conn are you on drugs again? Because I know that I told you we can't be together if you were on drugs again but I wasn't serious. I'm going to be beside you whatever the problem is-  
Finally Connor's eyes met his lover's ones.  
-I've never been on drugs Ollie. I’ve lied to you-  
-You what?!-  
Now Oliver was completely shocked.  
He should have been angry but deep inside him he had suspected this for a while.  
-But that night..... -  
-I know what I told you that night, but I had just done something very very bad and you were the only one I could turn to. The only one I wanted to turn to, but I couldn't tell you what I had done so I made up some excuse for the state I was in-  
-Then tell me now!!-  
-I can't Ollie!! Why don't you get that?! Why don't you understand that I'm doing everything I can to protect you and this means not telling you what happened the night of the bonfire?!!!-  
-I'm old enough to take my own risks!-  
-No, you are not because you don't know what you're asking for but I do and I won't let you step into this dangerous mess!!-  
-Connor..... -  
-No, don't say Connor in that way. You don't..... You can't..... Ollie you're the only one I've ever loved and I can't lose you. I can't. Don’t make me lose you-  
Small tears come running down Connor's face now and Oliver didn't feel like pushing him more on the subject.  
One day he will know, he was sure, but this was definitely not the day.  
He put his arms around Connor that held tight on to him.  
-There's nothing you could say that would make me leave you. Nothing. But if you don't feel ready to talk about this secret of yours it's ok. I just want you to know I will always be by your side, no matter what-  
-Thanks Ollie. That means the world to me. How did I got so lucky?-  
He asked with a wet smile before pressing his lips on Oliver’s.  
-I don't know, but I got a bit lucky too, so..... -  
This time Connor laughed, resting his head on the chest of his smiling boyfriend.  
-So.... I'm your first love-  
-Is this a question?-  
-I don't know. Is it true?-  
-That you're the first person I loved?-  
-Yeah-  
Connor looked straight in his eyes.  
-Of course you are, but you didn't need me to tell you, you've always know, haven't you?-  
Oliver smiled a bit more.  
-You are a bit of a bastard Ollie, you know-  
They stayed silent for few moments before the young law student started talking again.  
-You are most of my first things Ollie-  
-What do you mean? -  
-You're the first one that I fell for. You are the first one I made love with. Mind you, I said love, not sex-  
-I never thought you were a virgin Conn, don't worry-  
-Idiot. You were my first boyfriend, the first person a share a home with. You’re most of my first times-  
Oliver kissed him softly-  
I love you too Conn-he said in a whisper, but Connor didn't seem to notice because he kept talking.  
-And you are definitely the only person that I want to introduce to my family because you are the only one I want to spend the life with-  
This was surely not what Oliver had expected from the conversation.  
-This sounds so much like a proposal, you know that? –  
-Is that so bad?-  
-No, but.... -  
-Do I need to propose to you? We live together and, until you are willing to have me, I will hold on to you. So maybe it's time for us to meet each other's families, isn't it?-  
-Have I never told you I love you?-  
-Once, when you were drunk-  
-Did I?-  
-Yes-  
-And what did you do?-  
-I got you to your bed and didn't leave until I was sure you were Ok and fast asleep-  
-Without trying to take advantage of me? What a nice boyfriend you are-  
-Fuck off Ollie. You ruined the only time I was kinda serous you know? –  
-I'm not sure. You seemed pretty serious this afternoon too-  
-Because I mean every word I said and it was difficult for me to say that aloud-  
-I know, I was just joking. I know how much it cost you-  
-It was easier than I thought though-  
-Really?-  
-Yes, because I love you-  
-Is that so?-asked Oliver with a wide smile.  
He was definitely enjoying hear these words coming out of Connor's mouth.  
-Yep. Especially when you smile. I love your smile. And I love you even more when you look at me like that- -Like what?-  
-Like I'm the only important thing in the room-  
-But you are. I mean, how can this sofa or this TV compete against you?-  
Connor didn't reply but shut him up with a long, warm kiss.  
-I love you Oliver Hampton-  
-You're getting better at this-  
-What can I say? I'm a quick learner and you are making my job easier-  
-Which job? –  
-Isn't it obvious? Loving you my dear-  
-You're getting so much better already. And Conn?-  
-Mmm?-  
-I love you too this is why you are the most important thing in this room-  
-I think we are definitely getting better as a couple, even if we still have never done the crossword and you haven't update your status on Facebook-  
-I'm hardly ever on Facebook Conn-  
-I know, I’m not mad at you. I'm just saying-  
-And, by the way, that was your idea, I didn't say anything. But if you want we can do the crossword now though. I think there's a page of them in the morning paper-  
Connor grinned at him.  
-We could, but I have a better idea-  
-What now?-asked the hacker trying to understand the sudden change in his boyfriend's eyes.  
-I could show you how much I love you-  
-I knew it! You are definitely the horniest person I know -  
-And you love it-  
-Fuck off Con!-  
-What about if I fuck you?-  
-What about if I fuck you instead-  
-And I was the horny one... –  
-Shut up and lie on your back. I still want to look in to your eyes-  
-Yes boss-Connor said with a grin while he did what he was told to and watched Oliver get on top of him  
-I love you Connor Walsh-whisper Olives before starting to take off his clothes.  
They were both smiling now and there was no need for others words.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I write a fanfiction in english and it probably came out pretty badly so I thank you all that have read this until the end and I truly hope you would let me know what you think about it


End file.
